matt tullos

the compost pile of writer, matt tullos. mostly poems, prayers, rants and naratives... "Gods passion for the world has compelled me to be a contributor in the warfare of grace rather than a spectator in the warfare of religion."

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Location: Alexandria, LA, United States

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Prayers of the Unchanged

So here's the next one. One more and I'm done. Yippee!

#1: Lord, OK, OK. I acknowledge that You’ve called me to join you and I’m all for it. I mean, I’ve been waiting and praying for your will. And I’ve been on the same page up to this point but I just have one little favor to ask. Please don’t

#2: -ask me to give up my Sunday School class. It’s really my only me time and you know how much I’ve grown under Frank’s teaching so if you’d just allow me to-

#3: -keep my job. I’ll reach another important pay grade level in three years. Don’t you think it would be wiser to just keep me financially secure? I’ve got college tuition to pay in a few years, the car is getting older, and I have 12 years left on the mortgage. And I need more

#1: -rest. I’m always tired. Do you think I can fit everything else in my routine if I continue to coach soccer, keep my Grizzly season tickets, volunteer at the art museum, serve as treasurer of the PTA, work out 5 days a week. And don’t forget-

#2: I’m a leader. Please don’t ask me to do something so radical that everyone looks at me like I’m some kind of freak. I’m a multidimensional person and I’m afraid I’ll be so different that everyone at work won’t go to lunch with me anymore. I don’t want to have to

#3: explain this to my wife/husband. Things are on shaky ground in the first place. This is going to take a lot of trust and some major miracles. Besides my life is already so complicated and I know relationships are

#1: important aren’t they?

#2: I could really lose friends and

#3: shock people. I’ve been in this town for 8 years. I guess what I don’t want to do is

#1: well

#2: actually

#3: really

#1: If you must know.

#2: I don’t really want

All: Change

#1: So that’s basically my only request.

#3: Do whatever You want to do with me. Just remember

#1: that one tiny caveat because

#2: I want to experience You but

#3: in a more conventional way.

#1: like a short-term mission project

#2: or a new Bible study

#3: or a really cool new mentor

#1: but please

#2: help me

#3: keep everything the way it is

All: right now.

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