things I'd ask a church

is the apostles creed the only thing you'll make me sign?
do you break bread and pass the cup without the formulaic, once-a-quarter, get-it-over-with attitude?
do you woo the homeless woman and the broken addict more than you woo me?
is gossip, judgmentalism, and apathy right up there with adultery?
are you willing to hold my toes to the fire when i start speaking a line of crap?
do you dream big about small things and look for hope rather than blame?
do you not end every service by making me hold hands and singing a sappy, unbiblical jingle?
are you over the bait and switch invitation phase?
do you believe the holy Scripture more than you believe the talk-show party lines?
are you willing to fight for life as a holy thing?
do you laugh hysterically and cry unabashedly inside those walls?
can you disagree with me without turning it into an emotional event?
do you break out in hives when someone says "business meeting?"
will you let my kids be kids and not little men?
did you burn the hoops you used to jump through?
are you on a pilgrimage the cross?