matt tullos

the compost pile of writer, matt tullos. mostly poems, prayers, rants and naratives... "Gods passion for the world has compelled me to be a contributor in the warfare of grace rather than a spectator in the warfare of religion."

Location: Alexandria, LA, United States

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Back home. Today, brushed up on Let's Worship. I need idea writers. That's my greatest need in the stable.
Lord, I feel like a preschooler in life. Still learning. Lots of mysteries. I've been so burdened for my kids. I must trust you. I see my frailties when I look in their eyes. Give me the energy to be a parent, a husband and a writer. This is such a crazy time to be a parent.
(I need to buckle down and write this book that's due October 1.)
What's behind all this?
What are You trying to say to me?
Teach me to listen.
Slow the inner monologue that buzzes inside me.
As a depression survivor, I keep wondering when the malaise will come. Do I have the will to protect myself from the illness. Can I be a player or will I end up sidelined again.
It's a matter of total trust, realizing that I am in need of mercy.
This thorn binds me to reliance.


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